This Website Commemorates the Life of Larry Pernick
(1931-1997) of Southfield, Michigan
LARRY PERNICK
Meir Reuven ben Naftali Lazer v’Shayndel
November 10, 1997
Larry Pernick: dad, grandpa, husband, brother, uncle, friend and much more was one remarkable guy. Being here today is unreal for all of us; we are still in a state of shock. But when you look at it all, there is a certain irony here. Dad died suddenly, right after Election Day. I know that Margo, Nat and I all remember going door to door with Dad, passing out campaign literature during many political campaigns, first for other Democrats and later for him. It was a fun part of our childhoods; he would drop us off at one end of the block and meet us at the other end. It goes back so many years that I even remember passing out literature for Neil Stabler, in his unsuccessful run for governor long, long ago.
Politics was one of Dad’s passions and he was a dedicated Democrat. He devoted the past thirty years of his life to public service and was the one we always pointed to whenever anyone started stereotyping politicians. Dad was an idealist and he was scrupulously honest. He believed in doing the right thing, regardless of how many people were on his side. As a sign of the respect his colleagues had for him, he was elected chairman of the Oakland County Board of Commissioners in 1971, after only one term of office.
As a member of the minority party for the past 25 years on the Board, Larry still functioned effectively. Because the respect for his extensive knowledge and experience transcended party lines, many of his ideas were enacted over the years. He was a man of action and deeds, who worried little about ego and much about helping those who needed it. He was always a gentleman who, following the admonition of the Passover haggadah, opened his heart and his doors to all who were in need.
Dad died after attending a half day meeting at the County Courthouse. Little else would have removed Dad from office, for ever since his first run for political office in 1968, Larry Pernick never lost an election. He won fifteen consecutive elections from 1968 through 1996 and was one of the best arguments against term limits. He was good and the people knew it and constantly reelected him, whether his district had a Democratic majority, a Republican majority or was mixed. He was the longest-serving member on the Board of Commissioners, in part because he always ran as if he was the underdog, never taking anything for granted.
He enjoyed the respect of Republicans and Democrats and some of the members of the Board, both past and present, were longtime friends. The Pernick family has lost a great man; Oakland County and the City of Southfield have lost a public servant whose primary concern was always the public.
Dad was a very beloved son to his parents Jeannette and Nat, from whom he learned his passion for social justice. Together with his brother Roger and his sister Marthe, both of whom he shared a lifelong friendship with, Larry grew up in a house that loved people. His parents had a constant open-door policy for family and people were always coming over. His father died forty years ago and over the years, Dad was an advisor to his mother on many matters and was especially devoted to her care in her final years.
He was a very close and caring brother to Roger and Marthe and set high goals for himself, even as a child. He and his younger brother Roger were the first Detroit-area recipients of the Boy Scouts’ Ner Tamid Award, from their involvement in a troop sponsored by Temple Israel.
Just yesterday, Roger told us about how, in their childhood, Larry became not only a role model, but a hero as well. One day, they were walking home from the State Fair when they were jumped by a gang of kids. Larry counterattacked and drove them all away. He was always non-violent and a pacifist, but he was strong and was always there for his family.
Our mother Anne and our dad met in a way which can only be described as “bashert” or meant to be. It was at an election meeting of the Jewish Young Adult Council in 1952. Anne had just been elected President and it was time to nominate candidates for the vice presidency. The slated candidate declined the nomination. A second candidate was nominated, but also declined. Then a third nominee also opted not to run. Finally Larry, who was attending his first meeting, and only at the suggestion of a friend, was nominated by his friend to the vice presidency. And, to Anne’s great relief, he accepted and quickly developed a close working relationship with his President and future wife.
Mom said that she felt like she was melting the first time Dad touched her hand. The two of them shared 44 years of a loving marriage and partnership. They were one another’s best friend and Mom said that Dad was the best thing that ever happened to her. They did almost everything together and taught their three children what a successful marriage is all about. Their life together celebrated their love and their family. They will always be the model to which we aspire.
Larry graduated from what was then known as Wayne University in 1953 with a degree in Business Administration. The following month, he went to work in the family insurance agency and got married. Dad ultimately inherited the Pernick Insurance Agency on Six Mile and Livernois and, through a series of partnerships and mergers, he ended up as President of the State Insurance Agency, which he sold five years ago. He enjoyed becoming part of the Korotkin Agency and serving his clients without the responsibility of being the boss.
Margo, Nat and I had a very loving father, who played an active role in our lives. He was remarkably adept in the advice he gave us, which we usually followed. Dad’s advice, like the advice he gave to all of his family, friends and colleagues, could be trusted because it was not colored with anything but the desire to be of help. We noticed that he became smarter as we became older.
Dad encouraged us to be prepared for life and to reach our goals, whatever they might be. He was there for us and always generous, but did not try to spoil us; he encouraged independence and personal responsibility and demonstrated a lot of patience with us. We know that he loved us deeply and unconditionally and was very proud of us.
Our family grew up in Temple Israel and our home was always a strongly Jewish one. Though Dad was one of several male members of the Pernick family whose singing lacked perfect pitch, he led our seders enthusiastically, doling out parts to all of the children and it gave him great nakhes to begin assigning parts to many of his nine grandchildren.
Dad’s mind was constantly active. He was very organized and always thinking and planning ahead. He strove for both self improvement and societal improvement. There was always a book next to his bed, but he was a restless sleeper, who often rose early in order to walk around the track in Inglenook Park or along 12 Mile Road, before the park was built.
Following his parents’ example of opening their home, Dad willingly took in an unknown Israeli cousin, who was preparing to attend Eastern Michigan University some sixteen years ago. His good deed did not go unrewarded, as Ilan married Margo and, like Ruthie and Rebecca, became as close to Dad as any of us. There were no sons or daughters-in-law in this family – there were only sons and daughters.
Dad loved to travel and the National Association of County Officials conventions afforded many opportunities to see the country over the years. None of us will ever forget the four week, cross-country trip we took with a rented trailer to his first convention in Portland, Oregon in 1969. Dad had also been to Israel twice and was looking forward to going again very soon. Among the other memorable family trip destinations were Italy, Niagra Falls, Florida, Traverse City and our annual ride via the interminable Pennsylvania Turnpike to see Roger, Ruth, Norman and Debbie in Delaware.
Dad was a source of tremendous assistance to all of us over the years. He helped Nat to develop his law practice, Margo to be able to attend the University of Michigan and me to get my first real job.
But he was also willing to do the less glamorous jobs, such as driving Margo to Dunkin Donuts for her 6:00 am shift many years ago or stuffing envelopes for a political campaign, even if it wasn’t his. Dad was Marthe’s regular taxi to and from Walled Lake and did the dishes after every dinner. He was also a pretty good cook, especially beloved by his children and grandchildren for his matzo brei and his omelettes.
As we have heard, Larry delighted in his nine grandchildren: Amit, Sarah, Benny, Josh, Maya, David, Sam, Rachel and Talia and looked forward to taking the family to the Lions’ annual Thanksgiving game, regardless of the outcome. Larry always looked for ways to bring the family together, whether it was buying a boat, organizing and directing Auslander Family Club gatherings or watching the grandchildren while their parents took a trip or a night off. For his 65th birthday, Mom asked him what he wanted. He replied: “I want something with music so I can see my grandchildren dance.” The result was a memorable party, attended by many family members, over the Thanksgiving weekend last year.
Family was central to Larry and his love for family extended to his large family circle of many relatives from near and far, many of whom have traveled long distances to be here today. He loved to see our family enjoy itself, but he was also a tremendous source of strength during trying times, such as Mom’s recent heart-bypass surgery and Marthe’s husband Ray’s recent illness.
He enjoyed spending time with Anne’s brother Morry and was stimulated by the political discussions they often shared. He was also very close with Anne’s mother Bessie and said she made the best gefilte fish he had ever tasted.
Larry never enjoyed shopping, but he developed a love of shopping for and trading in antiques. Initially, he did so only to accompany Anne, but he quickly developed a strong love of and expertise for the field. He was always open to new experiences and had learned to use the computer and to go online. He was a man with a youthful spirit who loved to have fun, as was clearly evidenced at the New Year’s Eve party the family had at Margo and Ilan’s two years ago. He had a wry and sometimes rollicking sense of humor and an infectious laugh, which would get everyone in the room laughing hysterically once it started.
He was a man of simple tastes, who loved Abbott & Costello, The Three Stooges and adventure movies, but accompanied Mom to the artsy films she preferred. He always treated her like a queen; there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make her happy.
Near the conclusion of the mini-series “Pride and Prejudice,” Anne heard Elizabeth Bennett’s words to her father about Mr. Darcy “he’s truly the best man I ever met” and said to herself “that’s Larry! He’s truly the best man I’ve ever met.”
The two of them enjoyed many years of theatre together, first at the Cass and Schubert Theatres and later at the Fisher, where they have had a subscription for decades. They worked together on his speeches, Larry writing them and Anne, the English major, going through them with her infamous red pencil, whose wrath we have all experienced. They were, they are and they will always be a team. As the screensaver on their computer monitor reads “Anne & Larry” and so it will always be.
My kids said it best on Thursday night when they heard the news and said “this is the worst day of my life.” Up to now, we have been very fortunate and Dad’s death is the most bitter pill we have ever had to swallow.
Many of you here have gone through tragedies such as this and we appreciate your being here today for my mom, Margo, Nat, me, Roger, Marthe and all of the family. Certainly my Dad was always there for you, whether it was keeping the Auslander Family Club alive for many years, helping thousands of people with their insurance needs or safeguarding the public’s interest.
He and my Mom shared many long-lasting friendships with people from all walks of life. Dad counted friends that he knew for decades and others whom he had but recently met. His friends from the Dinner Club and many other venues were a very cherished part of his life.
The most difficult part for all of us, obviously, is the suddenness of Dad’s death, but we know that it was instantaneous and that he felt no pain. He died in service to the public and we pray that he will always be remembered by his colleagues in politics for more than the Pernick Drain, about which he enjoyed joking.
For Dad took great pride in what he could do for others. He was a caring and selfless man, who was proud of his involvement in politics. The walls of his office show him with many of those whom he supported and worked hard for, including Sandy and Carl Levin, Jim Blanchard, the late Phil Hart and President Bill Clinton.
Over the years, he was active on so many dozens of committees, commissions and in so many organizations that we could never list all of them here. Still, in addition to all of the general community organizations that benefited from his practical, yet idealistic nature, it is also important to note his many contributions to the Jewish community, including his years of service on the Board of the Jewish Community Council.
He had a knack for cutting to the core of complicated issues and for trying to make a difference. He was the perfect example of the Talmudic teaching “lo alekha ham’lakha ligmor, v’lo ata ben khorin l’hibatel mimena” – it is not up to you to complete the task, but neither are you free to abstain from it.”
Larry Pernick was, and always will be, a true role model for his family, friends and the public at large. In a society which frequently settles for mediocrity, he was an example of excellence who never settled for anything less than excellence. He was a beacon of humanity and integrity who cannot be replaced.
There is so much more that can be said and undoubtedly will be said during the shiva. On behalf of his family, we invite you to join us in the days ahead and share your memories of Larry, the man who was always there for everyone, whether they knew it or not.
Larry Pernick lived a very full 66 years on this Earth, but his death, while at his peak, is truly an example of the good dying young. We were not prepared to give him up so soon, but we are thankful to have had him for so long.
We look around and still can’t believe that he’s not here. We can’t fathom the pain that we’ve felt since late Thursday afternoon. But we know that he will always be looking upon us, from above, with love and with pride and through our lives, we will keep his memory and his inspiration alive. By carrying on his passion for family, for social justice and for enjoying life, all of us here will help to ensure that the name, the memory and the dynamic, loving, joyful and inspirational spirit of Larry Pernick will always live on as a blessing.
Zekher tzadik liv’rakha – may the memory of this truly righteous man always serve as a blessing. AMEN
